In a Gentle Way, You Can Shake the World
Thoughts on gentleness (with a poem from Nikki Giovanni & prompts for writing)
When I was a girl, Mary Poppins was my favorite movie, and The Dick Van Dyke Show was a staple on our family television. Goofy, graceful, and gentle, Dick Van Dyke’s presence was always reassuring, comforting, every line delivered with a sparkle. This recent video, a collaboration with Coldplay’s Chris Martin, directed by Spike Jonze, was a gift. Watching the 99 year old Van Dyke dance barefoot and sing, surrounded by his family, served as a bright gentle spot in my day. If you haven’t seen it, take a few minutes, I’ll wait.
I find that the entertainment that most engages me lately has gentleness as a main quality. The Wild Robot moved me in a way I wasn’t expecting, though I had read the middle grade books on which it was based. The gorgeous landscape animation and the messages (about banding together, knowing when to let go, and about learning that we can move beyond the skillsets that we have been programmed to accept) resonated deeply with me. I don’t cry much at animated movies (the first ten minutes of Up, naturally, and Toy Story 3, since Andy graduated and went to college the same summer as my son), but this one got me.
On television, Shrinking on AppleTV is not only hilarious but also a very tender look at family relationships and friendships that I look forward to each week. And Ted Danson in Michael Schur’s Man on the Inside on Netflix is one of the most tender and funny shows I’ve watched in a while. I feel good after I watch it, comforted, even if some moments are silly or sad.
I felt a similar way about Robert Zemeckis’s film Here starring Tom Hanks and Robin Wright. Using a single camera angle and inventive cutaways to show the same geographic place over time, the film mostly follows one family from post-WWII through to the modern era with flashbacks to previous time periods. The performances are under-stated and, well, gentle—realistic, unfolding the way a life unfolds, in ordinary moments of both connection and frustration.
Maybe this attachment to the gentle is a personal backlash against prevailing tropes in the entertainment landscape, which seem to be either loud and apoplectic action or deliberately dark and traumatic drama. Or maybe it’s just an antidote to the constant cycle of negativity and conflict in the news. More likely, it’s a desire to appreciate my own life, its own slow and ordinary rhythms, the depths of connection I have with people who are special to me.
Hopefully, you can find some gentleness in your own days, especially during a busy season. I’ll leave you with these gentle words about connection from Nikki Giovanni:
You Came, Too I came to the crowd seeking friends I came to the crowd seeking love I came to the crowd for understanding I found you I came to the crowd to weep I came to the crowd to laugh You dried my tears You shared my happiness I went from the crowd seeking you I went from the crowd seeking me I went from the crowd forever You came, too
PROMPTS:
Make a list of your “comfort” movies and TV shows, the ones that you return to when you need something familiar to settle you or calm your spirit. What elements do they share? Do they have a similar “vibe”? (Mine are usually comedic with big hearts beneath the laughs.) Try to write a poem or piece of flash that contains that comfort vibe.
Make a list of words that you find tender or gentle. You can focus on connotation and denotation, sound, or both. (Some of my favorite gentle words are nestle, hush, cuddle, and nourish.) Use your list in one of two ways:
Use as many of the words as possible to gentle your way into a poem that soothes.
Use as many of the gentle words as you can in a poem about something that troubles you.